I Crowdfunded Myself a Thrusting Vibrator

And got my new favorite toy with a little help from my friends.

Meaghan Ward
Jul 8 · 6 min read
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Like a lot of writers here on the internet, I don’t make a ton of money doing what I do.

When I started writing about sex last year there were a lot of erotica authors and other creators who had Patreon pages and were offering extras to their readers for commissions, like personalized erotic stories, or photos of themselves, or used panties.

That’s all well and good, but not my bag lately.

I want to keep myself (and my panties) private around here, so all I have are these words on the screen, this voice of mine to entice you to read and keep reading, and hopefully join my email list where you’ll be directed to my Ko-fi page.

Ko-fi asks you to set a goal, and I thought to myself, well, besides cash to pay bills, what does a sex writer really need?

Sex toys, of course!

Being that I don’t make much money, I have a very hard time treating myself to things.

Whenever I want stuff I always find a way to talk myself down or out of buying it for myself, things stay in my cart for days and weeks before I pull the trigger or close the tab, and honestly one of the hardest things about this whole pandemic thing for me has been that the library is closed.

So, I set Ko-fi goals for high end sex toys and even when I reached my first goal I was like, really? Do I really buy a sex toy with this money?

But I promised myself and my followers I would and I did, and then I was like, what now?

How many toys does a girl really need?

I have my bullet, my rabbit, my magic wand, my long-distance couples vibrator…

There are only two things left that I feel like I needed to have in my arsenal to try.

One of them was a huge, realistic dildo, complete with balls.

The other was a thrusting vibrator, because I believe in the things that Emma Austin recommends.

I set my Ko-fi goal and waited as donations slowly trickled in.

I don’t solicit for them, except at the bottom of my email newsletter, so I don’t get them often, but then one day, a reader who is turning into a friend, the amazing Alan Tegel, very generously helped me reach my goal.

And I couldn’t let him down, could I?


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I had no idea really what I was getting myself into with the thrusting vibrator, I just assumed that it operated like it sounded — it thrusts back and forth while inside of you.

I decided to go with a rabbit variety of thruster, the one pictured here, because who doesn’t like a little something extra to be vibrating on your clit, right?

When it arrived and I opened the box, my jaw dropped at the size of the thing.

At the length.

At the fact that this thing would thrust and expand in me and get even longer.

I can take it, I told myself.

I’m a big girl.

I’ve faced down bigger dicks before, no problem.

Then I turned it on and started playing with the settings.

The insertable part has multiple vibration settings, as well as the outer part — this thing is nothing if not a clit zinger all on its own!

But it was the middle button that intrigued me, the one that would make this baby start thrusting.

I turned it on and held it in my hand and just watched as the thing gyrated up and down, adding at least another inch and a half with each thrust. I cycled through the settings, some with strange motion patterns, some faster, some slower, and being Goldilocks me, picked a setting somewhere right in the middle.

Then, oddly, I lay down and thought of Yael, and how once she wrote about not forcing things inside her body before her body was ready to receive them, and I thought, no, this is not the kind of thing I want to jam inside me and turn on.

I lubed it up rather generously and turned on all the bells and whistles — the dual vibrations, the thrusts, and brought it down to my pussy and let it just press and pump gently against my opening.

The vibrations got my hips moving rather quickly and I realized I was meeting the vibrator’s thrusts, I was letting it push itself slowly into me, little by little until the outer vibrator reached my mound and I adjusted it so the tip was resting against my clit, and then everything got more intense.

I realized that I was holding the vibrator still in my hand and pushing myself against it as it pushed back, and the soft, smooth silicone felt amazing sliding in and out of me, but I wanted it in further, I wanted to see how far it could go.

But then something happened that I definitely didn’t expect.

As the thrusting continued and the vibrator slowly entered me, the tip of it must have passed my pubic bone or something, because suddenly, I swear to God, my vagina just SUCKED UP THE VIBRATOR and suddenly I was on a ride.

I let go of the end of the vibrator, there was no need to hold on to it anymore because my vagina was…enthusiastically cooperating?

So, I just lay there and let it fuck me…and that’s pretty much exactly what it felt like.

It felt like a penis (with a very strong vibrating cock ring) was moving in and out of me of its own volition.

At times it felt like it was going deeper than other times, which I don’t think is even possible but that’s what it felt like, and each thrust made me gasp a little bit as it made the outer vibrator put even more pressure on my clit.

But still, it wasn’t enough for me to get fucked by a vibrator. It never really is.

Out came the pile of pillows and I hopped on it with this baby between my legs and it was a whole new ride.

Now, the pressure on my clit was intense but the pressure inside me was even more so.

The internal thruster was rumbling with vibrations and I could really feel it getting deeper and deeper into me, making me gasp with every thrust, the combination of the two vibrations and the thrusting was driving me wild, my vagina was contracting around it, and then I hit the holy grail:

A blended orgasm.

My vagina clamped down on this baby and throbbed as my clit started shooting off fireworks I think; I mean my whole pussy was just exploding with pleasure, with an orgasm that lasted forever.

This one is a keeper.

Not that I haven’t kept all of the vibrators I’ve gotten over the last year (for scientific research purposes, of course), but this one is definitely one that I am going to return to quite, quite often.

It’s like my regular rabbit but EXTRA, and who doesn’t like a little extra when they’re masturbating sometimes, right?

To me, it’s the time to go wild and get funky with myself, the time to indulge.

If I’m incapable of buying myself new stuff, I’m certainly capable of using the stuff I buy very, very often and with much enthusiasm, so for that, my readers and donors, I thank you so very, very much.

Now, I guess it’s time to go change my Ko-fi goal for the last toy I’ll probably indulge in for a while…

A frighteningly large dildo.

If you want to read that review any time soon, feel free to give me hand ;-)


Thanks for reading! Please consider supporting my writing by signing up for my email list and following me here and on Twitter 💚

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Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

Meaghan Ward

Written by

I’m the girl your parents warned you about. Stay in touch: http://meaghanward.substack.com + http://meaghanward.com

SEXXX

SEXXX

Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

Meaghan Ward

Written by

I’m the girl your parents warned you about. Stay in touch: http://meaghanward.substack.com + http://meaghanward.com

SEXXX

SEXXX

Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

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